Detachment and Love

I've written and re-written this one twice already, and this is my third try at hitting delete and starting over. Right now, this is the thread I see weaving through my decision to stay Roman Catholic or 'leave' and become Protestant. Which would be better for me in a lot of ways, most of which are due to what I sincerely believe to be profound moral errors by fellow Catholics. I'm a (more or less) rational person who believes very much in a supernatural God - who has supernaturally encouraged me to rationally and maturely assess all the information at my disposal, including the supernatural things.

And I ask myself again - why did I become Catholic? I can't put aside the personal reasons, which are the main ones, but I can't really talk about those either, and I would be selfish and not godly if I stayed only because it confirms my own supernatural experiences. Those are real and matter.

But in the more general sense, it is because I agree with the teachings. And specifically I agree with the teachings that matter, because they matter. Not just because I'm interested in getting a laundry list of factual information about God that can be used to further my relationship with Him. In fact, how to put this -my relationship with God is fine, 24/7, although I don't always perceive it that way. I'm not Catholic to improve my relationship with God. If that were all I was interested in, I can see much better options.

I know sacraments are good and necessary for  the redemption of the total person and to testify to the inherent, immortal goodness of the world, which is in the perfect will of God that I love.

That's why I'm Catholic. Our administration of these sacraments are imperfect. And long story short - that is why I'm here. I made a promise to Jesus. If I walked away because how we purify  the things of this world is clearly imperfect, I'd break my promise to Him. On the other hand, I have the example and knowledge of my Father in heaven. If I failed to state these grave errors and injustices, I'd be betraying everything the Father has taught me to do, while I'm here.

So, there it is. 

And on a practical note it's better not to 'leave' an institution but reform it from within in large part because as history has shown - if we do not deal with our problems today, they will come up again and again. It's an illusion to think a completely different church would be any better. In fact it would just be a matter of time.

What it means to serve Jesus, what it means to do good, is as pertinent and as much in need of being lived here and now, as ever it was, or ever it will be.

And now, because it's Saturday afternoon (my personal deadline) I'm just going to have to post this. It still sounds angry. I guess maybe that's because I am a little angry now. Grr…Argh… (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOlKRMXvTiA)